Why crying may actually be good for your baby

When we hear a crying baby, the association is typically a negative one. We hear pain, sadness, loneliness, fear. And because of this our natural inclination is to intervene, soothe the baby, solve the problem. And this is a good, natural reaction! Caregiver responsiveness is a cornerstone of healthy parent-child attachment. 

However, the reason adults and babies cry are not always the same. Crying serves as a baby’s primary form of communication early in their life. In addition to communicating needs like hunger, physical discomfort, overstimulation, and pain, crying also helps babies. 

Here are some of the positive reasons your baby might be crying:

• Stress-Relieving: Babies cry if they are stressed and overstimulated. Through his research, biochemist and tear-expert, Dr. William Frey, found that tears contain stress hormones and other toxins. This finding led him to theorize that crying was the body’s natural way of reducing stress.

• Self-Soothing: Research shows that crying releases oxytocin and endorphins- the “feel good” hormones. This means that crying is in itself a form of self-soothing, not just the precursor to a baby learning to self-soothe. In other words, crying can actually help your baby feel better! (It’s the same for us adults, right?)

  Often a baby will fuss and cry when you put them in their crib. Not only is this normal, it can actually help your baby release tension so they are able to fall asleep. Give them a chance to self-soothe and find out what they are capable of! 

• Sign of exhaustion: If you miss your baby’s early sleepy cues, they will let you know they are exhausted by fussing and crying. Do your best to put them down for naps and bedtime before they get to this point. However, if they are past the point of exhaustion, shorten their pre-sleep routine and get them into their crib as soon as possible.

• Boredom: Sometimes your baby will cry from boredom. You can keep things interesting by moving their playmat to another room in the house, offering a different toy, or going outside for a walk. 

  
  Other times, you may be busy and you’ll need to remind yourself that it’s okay that your baby is bored; sometimes it’s within boredom that babies get creative and find new ways of interacting with their environment.

• Learning a new skill: As I am sure you know by now, your baby also cries out of frustration. Frustration is a common symptom of learning a new skill. Before immediately rushing to fix the problem, hold back and see if your baby can figure it out. By waiting even 30 seconds, you will see how resourceful they really are. You may find your baby is able to reach that extra length to get their toy or that they discover a way to pull themselves up to standing all by themselves!

This is not to say don’t comfort your baby! Not at all. Rather, a reminder that not all crying is bad and it is often by allowing your baby a few minutes to cry that they begin to develop the ability to self-soothe and find creative solutions to challenges they face.