Debunking the Myth: The Reality of "No Cry" Sleep Training Methods
The search for sleep training methods that minimize tears and distress in babies is understandable. However, the concept of a "no cry" sleep training method is often misleading. I want to take a few moments to explain why there is no such thing as a "no cry" sleep training method and shed light on the reality of changing a baby’s sleep habits through sleep training; understanding this will help you manage your expectations and make it easier for you to see the sleep training process through to the end.
Changing Habits = Initial Frustration
Crying is the primary means of communication for infants. It's how they express their needs, discomfort, and frustration. At the beginning of the sleep training process, your baby will be frustrated. It’s hard to unlearn old habits and relearn new ones! It’s much easier to be fed or rocked back to sleep each time you wake up at night (heck, who wouldn’t love that!). Unfortunately, there comes a time when most babies need to learn how to sleep through the night, and this transition doesn’t come without some frustration (and some tears).
The Importance of Self-Soothing
During sleep training, babies undergo a period of adjustment as they figure out how to self-soothe. Self-soothing is what happens when a child can calm themselves down independently, and it’s a key part of a child learning how to sleep independently. It’s difficult for a child to learn how to self-soothe if they are rocked or fed back to sleep each time they wake up at night. For a “no-cry” sleep training method to actually be effective, there will likely be some tears as your baby learns how to self-soothe.
It’s important to remember that self-soothing is not just helpful when it comes to sleep; it’s a valuable skill that will benefit your baby their entire life! When a child is given the space, love and support to safely problem solve, overcome challenges, and face their fears, they will become confident in their own abilities and intelligence. Longterm, this leads to higher levels of self-efficacy and confidence.
Note: Self-soothing can look different for every child. Common forms of self-soothing include thumb-sucking, kicking legs up and down, rocking head side-to-side. It’s always amazing to me what a baby lands on as their form of self-soothing. The most recent baby I sleep trained in-home decided that she enjoyed sucking her pointer finger and rubbing her belly at the same time (and it was adorable to say the least!).
Individual Variations and Temperament
Babies have different temperaments and personalities, which can influence their response to sleep training. Some babies may adjust relatively easily with minimal crying, while others may require more time and support. The notion of a "no cry" sleep training method overlooks the fact that each baby is unique, and their responses to sleep training can vary widely.
Emotional Release
Crying during sleep training can serve as an emotional release for babies. It's a way for them to release pent-up tension and express their temporary frustration that occurs as a result of the changes in their sleep habits. (To avoid unnecessary concern during sleep training, It is important to ensure your child is healthy, well-fed, and not in physical pain during the process.)
Parental Well-being and Support
Sleep training is not just about the baby; it's also about supporting parental well-being. If you are exhausted and sleep-deprived, it’s important to prioritize your own rest and mental health. While sleep training can be challenging and may involve some tears, remember that your well-being is critical to the well-being of your family!
The idea of a "no cry" sleep training method is a misnomer, as crying is a natural part of a baby's communication and adjustment process. Sleep training involves teaching babies to self-soothe and establish healthy sleep habits, which may involve some degree of crying. Understanding this reality can help manage your expectations during the process which will help you stay motivated…and one step closer to restful nights and joyful days!
